Chapter Fourteen

On the forest path, there were hardly any traces of people, almost none at all. A park lay nearby, but even within its gates, not a soul could be seen. The area was so desolate—why would Dr. Ai choose such a place to open a clinic?

What was stranger still was that Dr. Ai hadn’t warned Xiao Ai of his absence ahead of time, and yet, suddenly, a man named Hollen appeared. She’d never seen this man during her previous two visits, nor had Dr. Ai ever mentioned him. Hollen claimed to be Ai Dimin’s partner, implying a close relationship between them. If that were true, why had Dr. Ai never spoken of him? This was something she would need to confirm with Dr. Ai. Xiao Ai felt a vague sense of wariness toward Hollen; deep down, she sensed he was hiding something.

Though it was their first meeting, the man was odd. And since she had lost her memory, she couldn't recall anything from before. She worried that her amnesia had caused her to overlook things she ought to know. Perhaps this man knew her; otherwise, why did he seem familiar? She decided it would be wise to remain cautious.

“Since Dr. Ai isn’t in today, maybe we shouldn’t go ahead with the treatment. I just have a strange feeling about that Dr. Hollen,” she explained to Xian Xiaoya as she prepared to leave.

Xian Xiaoya looked puzzled. “You’ve never met him on any of your visits?”

“Never. He just showed up suddenly, and Dr. Ai never mentioned bringing in someone else to cover for him.”

“Maybe you’re just being too sensitive?”

“I can’t say exactly what’s strange, but that’s how I feel.”

The two of them wandered through the park, talking as they went, and by chance came upon a bookstore with a café inside. Xiao Ai looked up at the display by the entrance and was intrigued. “Shall we go in and rest a while?”

Xian Xiaoya hesitated. “Dressed like that? If you’re not worried, let’s go in.”

“I want to see how people react. Come on, let’s have a look inside.”

Xian Xiaoya was surprised, but followed her in.

The bookstore was merged with a café, with tiered shelves and seating for coffee by the floor-to-ceiling windows. The interior was a pure, creamy white, minimalist in design, spacious and tall, filled with sunlight that made it bright, yet the light never felt harsh or oppressive. It was a perfect place for quiet reading.

They sat across from each other. Xian Xiaoya ordered two coffees. Xiao Ai had entered on purpose, curious to see how others would react to her unusual appearance, but those inside were absorbed in their books or drinks and paid them no mind. There was no reaction at all.

Xian Xiaoya noticed that at some point, Xiao Ai had put on her necklace, and the pendant at her throat was glinting, reflecting the sunlight. She asked curiously, “What’s that?” She pointed to a corner where the pendant cast a tiny projection—a strange pattern, shaped like the number “12.”

Xiao Ai took off the necklace and examined it closely; indeed, there was a “12” engraved on it. The reflection wasn’t mere coincidence—it seemed almost a hint. So she speculated. She stood and walked to the shelves, feeling she might discover something. What did 12 mean? She stopped before a shelf marked with the number: 12.

She kept searching along shelf number 12, and on the twelfth row, she pulled out a book. Returning to her seat, she examined it.

“What book is that?” Xian Xiaoya asked.

“It’s about philosophy. I just grabbed it by instinct, trying to follow the clue of ‘12’—maybe I’ll find something.” Xiao Ai began to leaf through the pages. “Let’s try intuition: the twelfth page, or the twelfth chapter—maybe there’s something unexpected.”

“The number from that reflection earlier? That’s a bit far-fetched…” Xian Xiaoya replied, bemused.

Xiao Ai read on intently, flipping through the book, until she stopped at a page.

“I think I really found something,” she said, looking up at Xian Xiaoya.

“What did you see? Do you understand it?”

“I’ve never studied philosophy, but this passage isn’t hard to grasp.” Xiao Ai pointed to a paragraph.

“I don’t get it, what does it mean?”

“You can ignore the main text. Just look at the twelfth character on each of these four lines—what do they spell?”

“Substitution mode?” Xian Xiaoya was utterly confused.

“That’s it! I remember this word—I came across it during my first hypnosis session. That’s why it stuck with me.”

“So you know what it means?”

“I don’t, but I think it’s the key to my amnesia. And don’t you think it’s odd that you and I met? Perhaps it wasn’t by chance.”

“Honestly, I don’t understand a single word you’re saying,” Xian Xiaoya admitted, more bewildered than ever.

Xiao Ai continued, “Even setting aside those characters, this passage is interesting. I found the twelfth sentence in the twelfth chapter—it mentions an extremely rational skeptic, someone who believes that even what we see with our eyes may not be real. That idea really struck me.”

At that moment, their coffee arrived. The server placed the cups before them. Xiao Ai noticed the server ignored her odd appearance entirely, treating her as just another guest. In contrast, at the restaurant earlier, the server hadn’t seen her at all. Why?

“Maybe he just didn’t notice you,” Xian Xiaoya replied absentmindedly.

“My face is wrapped up like this—how could no one notice or be startled? Isn’t that odd?”

“Now that you mention it, when we went to the hospital, that Dr. Zhao didn’t seem to see me, either,” Xian Xiaoya recalled.

“Some people see you, some don’t see me, and some see both of us but don’t react to my appearance.”

“It’s just a few isolated incidents—it doesn’t mean anything. Maybe those people just weren’t paying attention,” Xian Xiaoya insisted.

Xiao Ai fell silent, pondering the text. “This passage says, even if one doubts the existence of everything, there’s one thing that can’t be doubted: the act of doubting itself.”

Xian Xiaoya was lost. “Why the sudden interest in this? What are you hoping to figure out?”

“I’m working through the meaning. If someone is thinking, and they doubt something, the only certainty is the existence of their own thoughts. Our consciousness… That’s it—consciousness!” Xiao Ai suddenly seemed to understand. “Why didn’t I think of that before?”

“What is it?” Xian Xiaoya saw the shock on Xiao Ai’s face.

“You said before that when you first went to the hospital with me, Dr. Zhao seemed unaware of your presence—maybe she truly couldn’t see you. Likewise, when we had dinner at that restaurant, that young waiter didn’t seem to see me.”

Hearing this again, Xian Xiaoya felt a chill. “Are you saying we’ve both seen ghosts? Or are we the ghosts?”

“No, that’s not it. I’m thinking about consciousness, the subconscious. Aside from those two incidents, have you noticed anything else strange?”

“About Hollen just now—could you see him clearly?” Xian Xiaoya had thought she'd lost a contact lens, but later realized she hadn't. If what Xiao Ai described was strange, then so was this. There were other odd occurrences, too—she’d mentioned some over dinner days ago, but never probed deeply.

“I saw him—couldn’t you?” Xiao Ai was surprised.

“I thought I’d lost a contact lens, so I couldn’t see clearly, and the whole environment was blurry. But with Dr. Zhao, it was different—I could see her, but she couldn’t sense me. As for Hollen, he could see both you and me.”

“Hollen seems familiar somehow, even though I can’t recall why because of my amnesia.”

“I don’t find him strange—maybe it’s just your imagination.”

“We’ve both experienced so many odd things. Shouldn’t you start doubting the world itself? Or maybe, all these scenes before us are conjured by our minds,” Xiao Ai ventured, her tone increasingly bold.

Xian Xiaoya was unconvinced. “What consciousness? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Are you saying you doubt the reality of this place? Did the accident damage your brain?”

At that, Xiao Ai seemed to recall something. “So you’re certain it was a car accident?”

Xian Xiaoya nodded. “Yes, that’s the most likely explanation. You lost your memory—it’s just like a movie plot.”

“Let’s suppose it was a car accident. But why was the car untouched? And the second time I went, the car was gone. I’m not sure this world is real anymore. How can you not question it?”

Xian Xiaoya didn’t want to accept this and fell silent. Xiao Ai went on.

“If everything we see is so strange, what exactly has happened to us? It’s as if something is quietly changing our minds, making these inexplicable things appear before us.” Xiao Ai’s mind spun with questions, and again, her head began to ache.

Xian Xiaoya appeared calm, but inside she was unsettled. She’d experienced no fewer strange things than Xiao Ai. Draining the last of her coffee, she said in a low voice, “If you have a headache, stop overthinking. Maybe it’s all just your imagination.”

After a pause, she continued, “Even if things are strange, life goes on. I feel things are good now—meeting you was unexpected. I don’t mean your strangeness affected me, it’s just all so incredible. You know what I mean. But I don’t want to change or deny what I have now… I hope you understand.”

“Are you afraid… that it’s all just a dream?”

Xian Xiaoya shook her head, unwilling to admit it. “No, I’m not worried.”

“But what if none of this is real…”

“That’s not the case. I think everything is perfectly natural and normal. You’re just an exception; you can’t generalize.” Her expression turned grave. “Enough for now. If you want my help finding out who you are, I’ll go with you to the police. But let’s stop with the wild guesses.”

Xiao Ai shook her head. “This isn’t something the police can solve. By the way, your child must be coming home soon, right?”

The abrupt question caught Xian Xiaoya off guard. Her child? …Yes, she had a daughter.