Chapter 43: Li Youran's First Kiss

“Song Xiaomei, you’re going to drag me straight to hell!” Shi Xiaocai suddenly had the urge to press Song Xiaomei beneath him, his self-control stretched painfully thin. Worse still, this mischievous girl was bewitchingly beautiful, the kind who could bring calamity to a nation.

“Then I’ll go to hell with you. And remember in your next life—not to become a monk if you look this handsome. Otherwise, I’ll still come looking for you.” Song Xiaomei clung tightly to Shi Xiaocai. She couldn’t even say when she’d started falling for him.

“Xiaomei, you’re done for. In this life, you’re destined to accompany Shi Xiaocai all the way to hell.” Lin Youya, eager to escape the awkward topic of her first time with Ling Tian, focused on Song Xiaomei and Shi Xiaocai instead.

“Cousin, you and Ling Tian will end up together sooner or later. You’re bound to be his woman in the end, so why keep up the act?” Song Xiaomei flashed a wicked grin and neatly steered the conversation back again, earning herself a glare from Lin Youya, who found her own cousin entirely too treacherous.

So the group laughed and joked as they ate and drank. No matter what, the young always longed for merriment; being together like this brought genuine happiness.

After the meal, Dai Jin and Yuan Bao had both drunk a little too much and retired to their rooms. Song Xiaomei pulled Shi Xiaocai into her own room, intent on finally having her way with him—though whether she’d succeed, who could say? Suddenly, only Lin Youya and Ling Tian were left in the living room. Since Lin Youya had just turned Ling Tian down, an awkward tension hung between them.

Ling Tian felt uneasy as well. They had once lain together, kissing intimately. Yet now, after a minor quarrel, he found himself at a loss for how to comfort her. He’d thought they were ready to be together, but Lin Youya’s firm rejection left him unsure of what to do next.

In truth, Ling Tian’s mind was elsewhere. After being turned down by Lin Youya, he found himself missing Li Youran—a gentle woman, soft as water. He wondered on what kind of bed she now slept, whether she still suffered from insomnia. Because of these thoughts, his heart was no longer entirely with Lin Youya.

“Darling, you should get some rest. I’m heading out.” Ling Tian stood up as he spoke.

“Where are you going?” Watching him leave, Lin Youya felt an unexpected emptiness inside. She didn’t want him to go; she wished he would stay with her. But what use was that, especially since she’d refused him? For a girl as pure as herself, it was only natural to be cautious. Yet this left Lin Youya’s heart deeply conflicted.

“I have something to do. Shi Xiaocai is here—he can keep you safe. I won’t be coming back tonight.” Ling Tian thought Li Youran was so kind she’d surely let him stay the night—maybe even let him give her his first time.

“Hey! You’re my bodyguard—how can you not come home all night?” The idea of Ling Tian spending the night out left Lin Youya deeply unsettled. She knew he’d only just arrived at the university and, apart from Dai Jin and a few others, got on best with Li Youran. Was he going to her?

“Darling, I’m a man. A man has needs—he needs a woman to hold at night. If you’d let me sleep with you, I wouldn’t go out.” Ling Tian reasoned that if Lin Youya agreed, he’d simply put off seeing Li Youran for another day.

“You! Then go! And don’t ever come back, humph!” Lin Youya was nearly faint with anger. Ling Tian, that scoundrel, threatening her again. Though she didn't want him to leave, his words left her no way to accept. Even if, one day, she would be with him, there had to be a process.

Some girls are just stubborn, even with themselves. They clearly love a man, yet refuse him—perhaps hoping he’ll care a little more.

It’s often said: men love because of desire, women desire because of love. In other words, when a man loves a woman, he wants her body as much as her heart; to him, love and desire are inseparable. Women, however, usually want to give themselves only after they’ve fallen in love. Thus, the world is full of lovesick men and women, their tangled feelings impossible to unravel—so many quarrels born from love.

“Of course I’ll come back. You’re my beloved, after all; I’ll always return to protect you. I’m heading out now.” With that, Ling Tian walked out, leaving Lin Youya grinding her teeth in frustration.

“Damn you, Ling Tian! You’d better die in some woman’s arms!” Lin Youya cursed him fiercely in her heart. She longed to ask if he was going to Li Youran, but the words stuck in her throat—she didn’t want to seem jealous.

Ling Tian, naturally, heard none of her silent curses. He just felt defeated—why hadn’t he won Lin Youya over yet? Never mind, he thought, I’ll go find Li Youran. At the thought of her, a smile curved his lips. This time, he was determined to make the most of his opportunity.

...

Another quiet night had fallen. Unlike the lively atmosphere of Lin Youya’s villa, Li Youran’s apartment was shrouded in solitude. She gazed out the window at the bright moon, her heart suddenly empty and heavy with melancholy.

Seating herself before the guzheng at her bedside, Li Youran let her slender fingers glide over the strings. A cascade of notes flowed from her touch like a mountain stream—sometimes as the dragon’s roar, sometimes as the phoenix’s cry, sometimes the rush of water, sometimes the wind through mountain bamboo. An ancient, unnamed melody filled the apartment.

As she played, Li Youran softly sang:
You journey east, east again,
How can you fly westward with the wind?
Would that I were a star and you the moon,
Night after night, we’d shine together in silver brightness.
Though the moon may hide, the star remains bright,
Waiting for the moon to return,
So the two may wax full together...

When she reached the line, “Would that I were a star and you the moon, night after night shining together,” images of Ling Tian’s smile surfaced in her mind. Before this man, she was willing to be nothing more than a star at his side. Yet now, he didn’t even give her the chance—he’d vanished from her life for days, rumored to be always with Lin Youya.

As these thoughts surfaced, her music grew more plaintive, losing its original purity. She felt as though she had become a palace woman, waiting in seclusion for the emperor’s favor.

Alas, Li Youran thought, she had always held herself aloof, disdainful of almost all men—yet for this fickle Ling Tian, her heart was helplessly ensnared. Even she found it exasperating, but the ways of the heart are ever mysterious.

What she didn’t know was that, at that very moment, Ling Tian was already outside her door. He had meant to knock, but the strains of her guzheng reached his keen ears. He heard everything in her room, even the soft sigh she let slip, and then her singing—her voice thick with longing. Ling Tian stood motionless, spellbound.

He felt an indescribable connection to Li Youran. His instincts told him she was yearning for him, and he was deeply moved. It’s not hard to be liked by women, but to be silently cherished by someone as ethereal as her—such a thing truly touched his heart. Li Youran, I miss you, too.

With practiced skill, Ling Tian silently opened the lock and pushed the door open. In the dim lamplight, he saw her seated before her guzheng, playing her heart to the moon—a vision of melancholy and grace.

He saw a flawless silhouette—long hair, slender waist, a dress of white gauze, cloaked in solitude and chill. The scene nearly broke his heart. He shouldn’t have stayed away for so long.

“Darling, I’m here!” Ling Tian finally spoke as Li Youran finished her song.

“You—you!” Li Youran spun around, stunned. Was she dreaming? How could Ling Tian appear here and even call her “darling”? She’d fantasized about hearing him say that, but he never had—until now.

“It’s me. Darling, I missed you.” Ling Tian pulled Li Youran into his arms. A new feeling swelled in his heart. He’d always wanted to conquer women, and he did care for them—he truly liked Lin Youya, too. But for Li Youran, he felt pain and tenderness.

“Is it really you? How did you get in?” Li Youran finally came to her senses. The reality before her made it clear she wasn’t dreaming, even though she was certain she’d locked the door.

“A door like yours is no obstacle to me. Sister, you’ve agreed to be my wife—no going back now!” Ling Tian realized she hadn’t objected to his affectionate address, a far cry from Lin Youya, who had resisted for days.

“Who said I agreed?” Li Youran, suddenly self-conscious, lowered her head.

“I called you ‘darling’ so many times just now—and you didn’t protest. That’s as good as a yes. Come here, let your husband kiss you!” Seeing her shy, Ling Tian’s spirits soared, all the gloom from earlier swept away. He pressed his lips against her delicate mouth.

“No, don’t—mmph!” Before Li Youran could finish, Ling Tian’s kiss claimed her. His masculine scent enveloped her, and she melted completely in his embrace. His tongue teased her, leaving her limp and trembling—the feeling of her first kiss was dizzyingly intense.

To Ling Tian, Li Youran was unexpectedly sweet and soft, impossible to resist. He adored this sensation. A few years older than Lin Youya, her body was more mature, and he could feel his blood racing, a fierce need to possess the woman in his arms.

A kiss was not enough. Ling Tian’s hand moved to her chest, and with only a thin layer of gauze and silk between them, he easily found the most sensitive spot and began to gently knead and tease it. Li Youran’s body shuddered and softened further under his touch.

“Darling, I want you.” Her acquiescence made Ling Tian’s heart race. He swept Li Youran into his arms and carried her toward the bedroom...