Chapter Forty-Nine: Longing

“Clap!” Suddenly, a crisp sound startled both Sakura Luo and Ling Zexin, snapping them back to reality. Ling Shunuo was squatting beside them, glaring with wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Ling Zexin, who had just been basking in the pride of having saved the damsel in distress, was staring at Sakura Luo’s delicate face, her small lips, slender waist, and dainty legs. He was still fantasizing about her throwing herself into his arms, where he’d hold her tight and share a deep kiss. But all of that was ruined by Arnold’s abrupt appearance, leaving him utterly irritated. The smile on his face faded away.

Arnold watched as Ling Zexin’s expression shifted from lecherous delight at Sakura Luo to fierce annoyance toward himself. He instantly understood—Ling Zexin must be cursing him inwardly. Arnold let out a dismissive “tsk,” and said, “Wipe off that trail of drool running down your chin, will you?”

Ling Zexin was momentarily taken aback. He wiped at his mouth, only to find it dry, realizing Arnold had just been teasing him. His frustration mounted. “You little brat, shouldn’t you be heading home? Wandering around out here—have you finished your homework?”

“Aren’t you the one who brought me out here?” Arnold shot him a look of utter disdain. It seemed Ling Zexin would never change. Once he saw a pretty girl, he couldn’t move from his spot and completely forgot about the four-year-old child who still needed looking after.

“Hurry up, go home!” Ling Zexin waved him off dismissively. All he wanted now was to find an elegant place where he could hold Sakura Luo’s hand, whisper sweet nothings, steal a kiss, embrace her slender waist. How was it that, after meeting countless beauties, he’d never noticed the charm of this young girl before? Why had her beauty only just dawned on him?

As Sakura Luo looked down to straighten her clothes, he thought she seemed so ladylike. When she lifted her head and gave him a smile, he found her stunning. She took out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, and he thought her graceful. As she stood up, he saw her as noble…

“Hey, hey, wake up…” Arnold waved a hand in front of Ling Zexin’s eyes. “The proprietress downstairs is asking you for money. She says you have to pay two hundred thousand to buy Miss Fragrant’s first night.”

At these words, the smile vanished from Sakura Luo’s face, replaced by icy frost. She suddenly remembered that just moments ago, Ling Zexin had vied with her for Miss Fragrant, even raising the price to two hundred thousand taels of silver.

Her mind wandered to past scenes of Ling Zexin in the palace, flirting and embracing the daughters of court officials, and she shook her head. The man before her was nothing but an incorrigible rake, relying on his princely status to indulge in debauchery everywhere he went. Who knew what diseases he carried? How could she have felt even a moment’s fondness for him just now?

She glanced at Ling Zexin’s swollen, red cheek and felt he got exactly what he deserved. In fact, she thought the burly man earlier should have beaten him even worse. The more she thought about it, the less she wanted to see Ling Zexin. Turning away, she strode off without a word.

“Hey, hey, Flower Sister, where are you going?” Ling Zexin noticed the sudden change in her expression and, seeing she was no longer smiling at him, quickly scrambled up and shot Arnold a fierce look before running after Sakura Luo.

“Let go of me.” Sakura Luo felt her sleeve being tugged and shook him off with all her might. She wanted nothing to do with someone like Ling Zexin, nothing at all!

“You’re a young woman—being out here alone is dangerous. What if you run into another bad person? I think you’d better stay at my residence for a few days, talk things over with me, and then I’ll arrange for someone to escort you home. How about it?” Ling Zexin shamelessly made his proposition, convinced he was a great romantic at heart.

“I think you’re the worst person in the world.” Sakura Luo shot him a glare, infuriated by how brazen he was, and longed to give him a good beating.

“I’m only looking out for you. I always have your best interests at heart. Come now, don’t refuse my kindness.” Ling Zexin grinned, tugging at her sleeve. His hand slid down, catching her petite hand, his thumb stroking her skin.

Hmm, so smooth—feels nice.

That touch sent his imagination running wild again. Immersed in his pleasant fantasies, he was suddenly snapped back by a loud “slap.” Instantly, the side of his face, still sore from the earlier blow, began to burn anew.

Tears welled up in his eyes. Ling Zexin looked at Sakura Luo, her hand still lowered in anger, and protested, “Flower Sister, what did I do to deserve this? Why did you hit me?!”

“You were being indecent, that’s why.” Sakura Luo’s gaze dropped to where Ling Zexin was still holding her hand.

“I’m doing this for your own good. You’ll understand someday.” Ling Zexin had no intention of letting go. Partly for selfish reasons, but also because he genuinely worried about Sakura Luo wandering around alone, unable to handle unexpected dangers. If anything happened, how could he face Ying Xuanyu?

“Sixth Uncle,” Arnold yawned, “it’s pretty late. Shouldn’t you take me back to the palace now? Otherwise, Father will be angry.”

“All right, all right, I’ll take you back now. By the way, do you have any medicine on you?”

“What kind of medicine are you looking for?” Ling Shunuo eyed him suspiciously, sensing he was up to no good.

“I want to teach that man inside a lesson. I’m a prince, yet I just got slapped. I should punish him properly, but since I’m in a good mood, I’ll let it slide today.” Ling Zexin pointed toward the room.

“Now that you mention it, I do have something.” Ling Shunuo pulled a small paper packet from his pocket. “This is a very potent aphrodisiac. Just a little will keep him bedridden.”

“Why are you always carrying these strange things around?” Ling Zexin eyed him warily as he took the packet, still haunted by memories of the last time Ling Shunuo had drugged him.

“To guard against you, of course.” Ling Shunuo glanced around and noticed a servant approaching with a jug of wine and several dishes. He exchanged a meaningful look with Ling Zexin.

Ling Zexin got the message, called the servant over, tricked him into handing over the tray, sprinkled the powder inside, and sent the servant back in. Then, with one hand holding Sakura Luo and the other Ling Shunuo, he led them downstairs.

The three of them together looked rather like a family of three.

To outsiders, however, it appeared as two grown men holding hands with a little boy, an odd sight indeed.

“Prince Xin, congratulations on winning Fragrant’s first night. She’s waiting for you upstairs. You’ll be paying in silver notes, yes?” The madam bustled over as soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Ling Zexin was dressed inconspicuously tonight and had no attendants, so she hadn’t recognized him at first. Only when she saw him go upstairs did she realize she was in for a windfall.

“Out of my way.” Ling Zexin brushed her off impatiently. He’d only gotten involved in the bidding on a whim to outdo Sakura Luo. Even as a prince, two hundred thousand taels was no small sum, especially with outstanding debts elsewhere. He wasn’t foolish enough to spend that kind of money on a night with a courtesan.

“Your Highness, you—” The madam now noticed he was holding another man’s hand, and that man looked utterly aggrieved, like a wronged wife.

“I’m leaving for the night.” Ling Zexin just wanted to get out of there, send Ling Shunuo back to the palace, and take Sakura Luo home.

“Oh…” Noting his uncharacteristic impatience, the madam had an epiphany. She figured he’d tired of women and now preferred men. A new idea began to take shape in her mind—perhaps she should recruit some handsome young lads to cater to high-ranking officials with special tastes like Ling Zexin.

Once out of Fragrant Pavilion, Ling Zexin took Arnold and Sakura Luo straight home, intending to send Ling Shunuo back to the palace. But night had fallen, and Arnold was adamant about staying, so he had to let the child spend the night at his residence.

“Uncle Six, I’m hungry. Let’s eat,” Arnold tugged at Ling Zexin’s trouser leg just as the latter was staring skyward, lost in melancholy.

“Eat, eat, eat—that’s all you ever do.” Ling Zexin shot him a glare. This boy might be his beloved elder brother’s son, but he really wasn’t cute at all. From then on, Ling Zexin decided: he’d never have a son—daughters were much better. Little girls were sweet and obedient, but if a son turned out like Ling Shunuo, always at odds with him, he’d only have himself to blame.

Still, it was dinnertime. He ordered the servants to prepare the meal, then went to check on Sakura Luo.

In the palace, the night was as brilliantly lit as ever.

Ling Zetian sat alone in his study, reading. He read for a long time, and when he finally looked up, he realized several hours had passed undisturbed. An emptiness tugged at his heart.

Ling Zexin had sent word that Arnold would be spending the night at Prince Xin’s residence.

With Feng Qiuji gone, the palace felt even more desolate. He suddenly missed the days when Feng Qiuji was around—how she’d always complain of hunger just as night fell, prompting him to remember to eat as well, drawing him away from his endless work to share dinner with her.

From a young age, he’d been taught to be a wise ruler, to bring prosperity and peace to his people. Since ascending the throne, he’d never dared be negligent, devoting himself tirelessly to state affairs. The world might think an emperor enjoys all the pleasures of life, but only those in his position know the truth: even emperors have it hard, and being a good one is harder still.

Before, after his work was done each day, he’d return to Chaoyun Palace and always see Feng Qiuji flitting about—sometimes running through the palace with Arnold, sometimes tending the flowers, sometimes turning the place upside down searching for something, and sometimes sleeping early when tired. Now, all that awaited him each night was a cold, empty bedchamber.

He had once loved Qin Ruyan, devoted his heart to her, and never looked at another woman. When she left, he poured himself into becoming a worthy monarch and set aside thoughts of love. Now that Qin Ruyan had returned, he found he no longer felt anything for her.

People change. In those years as he grew, he’d needed her desperately, but she wasn’t there—so he’d forced himself to let go, to forget. Now that she was back, he’d grown used to being alone, and his heart no longer yearned for her. He’d never liked deceiving others or himself, so he told Qin Ruyan clearly: they could never return to what they once were. The past was gone, never to return.

But after spending half a year with Feng Qiuji, he found he’d grown accustomed to her presence. He’d thought himself strong enough to endure all loneliness, to walk his path alone. Yet Feng Qiuji’s arrival had disrupted his calm existence.

He had believed that even if she left, his life would remain unchanged. But now, after only two or three days without her, he found himself restless, unable to eat or sleep, unsettled.

He missed her.

As the saying goes—only after losing something do people learn to cherish it. That is just human nature.