Chapter 7: Exile is wonderful, I want to go!

“Brilliant! Sister Meng just gave us a vivid lesson—one called ‘Inviting Humiliation.’ Dear viewers, please don’t try this at home,” Wang Sulong chimed in.

“Pfft—hahaha!”

“I can’t take it anymore, my cheeks hurt from laughing. Can you all stop teasing me?” Song Yanfei kept pinching the corners of her mouth.

Xu Xiu woke from his emperor’s dream, feeling as if something was missing.

“What’s the next event on our agenda?”

At that, Li Xueqin quickly jumped in.

“It’s time for the curtain governance. Hurry! Danma should be presiding behind the curtain now.”

“That’s right, curtain governance. Where’s my Danma’s curtain? The production team clearly has no sense—they didn’t even prepare the curtain for my Danma.”

While everyone was joking among themselves, a harsh blaring sound came from outside.

The voice was cheap and shrill, much like those hawkers at a morning market.

After hearing the message, Song Dan was dumbfounded.

“Hey—if you’d told us earlier, we wouldn’t have been struggling to organize this. Turns out you’d already arranged the meeting place!”

“Exactly! The production team is getting more thoughtless by the day. You should have told us to gather in the restaurant and at least given Danma a heads-up,” Li Xueqin teased.

“Alright, let’s go. Let’s head to the restaurant. Staying here is pointless now; my words don’t matter anymore—we’ve got to follow the production team’s lead, and so do I.”

Soon, the group walked together toward the restaurant to gather.

As they entered, they noticed someone already seated inside.

This person had a phone strapped to their head—literally a camera growing out of their skull.

“Hey, who’s that? What kind of stunt is this?”

“Hahaha!”

“This is hilarious! A camera on his head! I’ve got to see who this is!”

“Don’t move—that’s Xu Zhisheng’s puppet.”

Since Xu Zhisheng couldn’t make it for the last few episodes, the production team resorted to this method to include him.

Xu Xiu mused that this show was inherently abstract, so he was right on theme.

“Zhisheng, have you seen our new dockmaster? Say hello to our dockmaster.”

Xu Xiu glanced at the phone screen, where Xu Zhisheng stood up and politely addressed them, “Ah, hello, Dockmaster.”

“Hello, Zhisheng.”

“It’s me, Dockmaster. Please give any instructions!”

“Nothing specific. Just hope you can arrive earlier next time. Missing every day isn’t good.”

“Dockmaster, I truly can’t help it—I’m stuck in the city and can’t get out!”

After hearing the explanation, Xu Xiu understood: the guy was sealed inside the city and couldn’t leave!

Soon, everyone took their seats.

Clearing his throat, Xu Xiu assumed a leadership pose.

“Well, um, I just want to say a few words. In this meeting, um, no playing with phones. If I catch anyone, um, don’t blame me…”

He sat there, dead serious, spouting nonsense while the audience’s faces filled with question marks.

“???????????”

“Spot on! It’s not just similar—it’s identical! If it weren’t for your outfit, I’d swear it was my own boss sitting there.”

“This guy’s got talent. I’ve always believed in him. There isn’t a single normal person on this show!”

“Damn! This guy’s exactly like my idiotic boss—nonstop meetings, thinking he’s all that! What a fool!!!”

In the restaurant, Xu Xiu continued his impassioned speech.

Everyone was dumbfounded.

No, you were supposed to be a dockmaster, not take it so seriously!

At that moment, the show’s loudspeaker sounded behind Xu Xiu, announcing new rules.

Perhaps learning from season one’s mistakes, the production team realized these entertainers were hard to manage without clear rules.

This time, tasks had to be completed to earn contribution points, which could be used to purchase daily necessities. Each person started with 100 points.

In other words, freeloading and slacking off were no longer options.

When the rule was announced, many faces fell.

They realized the show was shifting toward a “Yearning” style.

They came here to slack off—who in their right mind wants to work or complete tasks on a social reality show? Li Xueqin was the prime example.

But that wasn’t all. To prevent loopholes and exploits, the production team added a banishment rule.

Every three days, an internal vote would be held to exile the person deemed to have the lowest contribution points during that period. The exiled person would spend a night alone on a deserted island across the way.

Of course, the show wouldn’t make anyone survive alone on a real island—they built a cabin with all necessary supplies.

Still, the idea of one person alone on an island was daunting.

Many would struggle or refuse to become the exiled, so they’d try hard to earn points by completing tasks.

This gameplay echoed season one’s essence and was the show’s core. The moment it was announced, the atmosphere changed.

“Huh? So this means the person we hate the most will be banished,” Meng Ziyi bluntly stated.

Her words revealed the truth outright, and everyone turned to look at her.

Each face wore a hesitant expression, as if wanting to say something.

Yet… Sister Meng was absolutely right!

The rule meant exactly what she said, but it wasn’t something to be openly admitted.

“That’s over then. I think Longlong’s in trouble—everyone hates you,” Song Dan joked.

“Here’s a suggestion: can we have a rule that whoever’s been banished once can’t be voted out again next time?”

“Um… can I say something?” Xu Xiu raised his hand. “I want to go to the island. I want to be exiled!”

“Ah?” ×12

“Don’t you think it’s kind of cool? Having an entire island to yourself! Even if I lie there naked on the beach at night, it’s totally fine! It’s practically epic!”

Everyone in the restaurant froze.

They couldn’t believe their ears. He said naked on the beach?

Who thinks of that? And then actually says it?

Stop it—the elephants in chess are about to disappear from your craziness!

[Notification: Host’s abstract behavior detected. Exposure increased. Singing +0.0069… Singing +0.0069… Cooking +0.0069… Constitution +0.0069…]

The audience was stunned.

“Can I ask? If you’re naked lying on the beach, won’t sand get everywhere?”

“Ah??? Blind Monk, you’ve found the key point. Do you think the show pays attention to such details?”

“Can someone please rein this guy in? I’m afraid he’ll ruin the whole show. He dares to do this stuff, I don’t even dare to watch!”

“Converted fan here. This guy’s mind is truly unique!”

Meanwhile, two voices whispered near Xu Xiu’s ear:

“Hey, funny you say that—I’ve always wanted to spend a day there too.”

“Me too!”

Xu Xiu glanced over. The speakers were Li Xueqin and Wang Chuanjun.