Chapter 158

Xie Linghan was Bai Zhuo's betrothed wife. She had long since made thorough inquiries about how many people lived in the Bai residence and everyone's preferences, including the maidservants, pageboys, and the two strange creatures kept in the lotus pond.

"No way," Xie Linghan refused, shaking her head.

"Why, Sister-in-law, why not? Look at these muscles of mine, they are prime material for martial arts practice!" Bai Jie grabbed Xie Linghan's sleeve, shaking it back and forth as he stretched out his chubby arm to show off.

Xie Linghan looked at Bai Jie's chubby arm—hmm, very fair and full of flesh, the kind that would break with a single pinch.

"How is it? Can you take me in as a disciple?" Bai Jie asked with a hopeful expression.

Xie Linghan: "..."

"No, your eldest brother won't agree," Xie Linghan said, raising an eyebrow.

Bai Jie frowned as he looked at Xie Linghan, finally gritting his teeth, slapping his palm, and uttering something astonishing:

"Then... then why don't you dump my brother? Let's not go through with the marriage first."

Xie Linghan: "..."

Xie Lingyun, who had just walked into the courtyard: "..."

Consequently, Bai Jie was bundled up and sent back home.

"I say, Little Cousin, what on earth were you blabbering about in front of our future Cousin-in-law? You've got some serious nerve trying to poach Eldest Cousin's wife," Fubao muttered as she cracked melon seeds, looking at Bai Jie, who had been beaten into a pighead in a group brawl.

"Exactly, exactly! It was hard enough for Eldest Cousin to finally get married off, and Little Cousin actually dared to poach him! And if you were going to poach him, fine, but you had to let everyone know about it—if we don't beat you up, who should we beat?" The speaker was Han Xiaoyu, the son of Bai Yulan.

"Go on, go on, what do you kids know?" Bai Jie said, cradling his bun-like swollen face.

"Hmph~" Han Xiaoyu curled his lips in disdain and continued cracking melon seeds.

"The wedding is happening any moment now, and I wonder when Great-grandmother will arrive," Fubao sighed, resting her chin in her hands.

"At this rate, Great-aunt should still be on her way here on horseback," Bai Jie said after thinking for a moment.

"True enough. Great-great-grandmother sent a letter back long ago, so Great-grandfather and Great-grandmother should have set off ages ago," Fubao muttered, pouting her lips.

"Speaking of which, what gift should I give them?" Fubao suddenly wondered if she needed to give small gifts to Eldest Cousin and his bride.

"Hehehe, you guys haven't prepared anything? I prepared mine ages ago," Bai Jie crossed his arms and smiled smugly.

"Hmph~ I prepared mine too," Han Xiaoyu retorted.

Fubao: Am I the only one who hasn't prepared anything?

...

That evening, Fubao stayed at the Bai residence. Lying on the bed with one leg crossed over the other and her head resting on her arms, she wondered what kind of gift she should prepare.

"Giving gifts again?" The little ginseng sprite, upon hearing the word "gift," instinctively clutched his head. Don't even think about plucking this lord's hair again!

Fubao looked at the little ginseng sprite, who was clutching his head with a vigilant expression, leaving only a pair of eyes exposed from beneath the quilt.

Fubao: ???

"What should I give?"

"Right, do you think a basket of fruit would be good? Just those pears you stole from the pear tree spirit last time?" Fubao bolted upright in a flash, slapped the mattress, and said excitedly.

"Let me emphasize, those pears weren't stolen; they were the reward of justice," the little ginseng sprite explained with a deadpan face.

"Is that so? Whatever, I'm leaving this to you," Fubao said, rolling up her sleeves and cracking her knuckles.

"Do you think giving pears is a good idea? Slice one open with a knife into two halves, and then wish the newlyweds a prompt divorce right after their wedding ceremony?" the little ginseng sprite continued, speaking with a speechlessness as dry as his expression.

"How could they possibly divorce just because of a pear?" Fubao retorted with her mouth wide open in excitement.

"Oh, they won't divorce. Judging by Miss Xie's personality, she'll probably just hand your dear cousin a letter of annulment," the little ginseng sprite said, picking his nose.

Fubao: "..."

Fubao deflated again; the pear idea she had come up with with such difficulty was vetoed.

"Then what should I give?" Fubao slumped onto the bed and muttered.

"Give... ginseng fruit, maybe?" The little ginseng sprite rolled his eyes and suggested.

"What? Ginseng fruit?"

"Yeah, ginseng fruit! That stuff is top-tier treasure, y'know. Not only is it delicious, but it also prolongs life."

"Are you sure mortals won't explode from eating that?" Fubao remembered that while it did prolong life, it was far too potent; mortals might explode if they ate it. She remembered that stupid lobster from back then who foolishly ate one, and if the Glacier hadn't arrived in time, it would have long since turned into lobster paste.

"Aiyah, of course it's not the ginseng fruit from Mount Dabie! This is just something I swiped from another minor demon," the little ginseng sprite added.

"Swiped again? Where on earth do you meet all these demons? How come I never see a single one?" Fubao felt rather curious. With the countless hunters in the imperial city, demons and spirits ought not to appear here; so where on earth did this little ginseng sprite meet so many demons, and of quite a few varieties at that?

"I don't know either. Suddenly, demons have started increasing in number, and quite a few of them aren't low in magical power, and many have even blended into human life. Just two days ago, I saw a female demon with a big belly—the scary part is that she was pregnant with a human fetus."

The little ginseng sprite pulled out a pink little fruit shaped like a tiny doll from somewhere and intended to take a bite.

"Stop right there!" Fubao shouted sharply with sharp eyes.

Little Ginseng: ??? He bit his tongue.

Fubao swiped her hand across to intercept the fruit in the little ginseng's grip, gave it a look, and said:

"This fruit isn't ripe yet, mortals can eat it. This is the one!"

"That's mine!" the little ginseng cried out angrily, watching the departing fruit.

"Are there any more?" Fubao put the fruit in her hand away, glanced over at the little ginseng sprite, and asked.

"None."

"I don't believe you."

"..."

In the very end, the little ginseng sprite was picked up by Fubao and given a good shake, causing seven or eight more little fruits to drop out of him.

"Tsk tsk, I told you you were hoarding them. You really do need a beating," Fubao said as she tossed the little ginseng aside and put the fruits away. Hehehe, she'd give these as the wedding gift.

The little ginseng, tossed aside to the side, wept tears of grief: Serves you right for running your mouth, serves you right for running your mouth.

On the day of Bai Zhuo's wedding, the ceremony was unimaginably grand. His father-in-law, Xie Xiong, patted Bai Zhuo on the shoulder, turned around, and wiped away a tear.

"Dad, stop acting. Your mouth is split all the way up to your ears," Xie Lingyun mercilessly punctured his own father's disguise.

"You brat, ruining the wholesome atmosphere just like that," Xie Xiong glared at Xie Lingyun.

Bai Zhuo: "..."

"My good son-in-law, if you suffer any grievances in the future, just come back here. The Xie residence will always be your maiden home," Xie Xiong patted Bai Zhuo's shoulder and said earnestly.

Bai Zhuo: "..." Did something sound wrong about that phrasing?

Watching the bridal sedan chair get further and further away until it vanished from sight, Xie Xiong and his wife exchanged a glance, flashed into the Xie residence in a blur, and another round of firecrackers erupted from within the courtyard, accompanied by Xie Xiong's excited voice:

"He's finally married off!"

The onlookers among the common people: "..."

...

Bai Yuguang had come to the front courtyard for the first time in years. Having stayed cooped up in his own little courtyard every day doing nothing, he found it so terribly boring—or was it?

The dishes at the banquet were not bad at all, but what on earth was this dish called stir-fried spicy crayfish?

He looked at Fubao on another table, eating crayfish happily, one bite at a time.

Bai Yuguang: "..."

After a long while, a sweet and sour fish was consumed under the shocked gazes of everyone present. Bai Yuguang felt that his inner peace had finally been restored.