Chapter 157

After several rounds of examinations, Fubao collapsed on the bed like a dead little pig, completely unwilling to move.

On the very day the examinations concluded, Lin Sanlang prepared a table full of fine dishes for his daughter.

The delicious food lured the "little pig" out of her bed. As for the various questions Meng Yun asked about the exam, Fubao simply brushed them off with a perfunctory reply that things were just fine.

Fubao’s eldest cousin was about to get married, so Fubao accompanied Meng Yun and Lin Sanlang to the Bai residence. While Meng Yun joined the elders to discuss the arrangements for Bai Zhuo's upcoming wedding, Fubao headed straight to Bai Zhuo's courtyard to torment her eldest cousin.

"Zhuo'er expresses his gratitude for Auntie's kind intentions." When Fubao arrived, Bai Zhuo had just dismissed Bai Yugu's maid.

"Eldest cousin, hee-hee!" Bai Zhuo, who was staring blankly at stacks of small booklets, heard a wretched giggle.

Bai Zhuo thought to himself: *Why on earth does my cousin smile with such sinister intentions?*

"Fubao, you're here," Bai Zhuo said, rubbing his temples with a hint of a headache.

"Why does eldest cousin look so distressed?" Fubao stepped into the room and plopped down onto a chair.

"Distressed? Nonsense. You little girl are teasing me again," Bai Zhuo chuckled softly.

"Hee-hee, since eldest cousin is about to be married off, I, your little Bao, feel deeply gratified," Fubao teased, shaking her head.

"Hah, watch your phrasing, you mischievous girl. It's called taking a wife," Bai Zhuo shot Fubao a sidelong glance.

"What are these?" Piled high on Bai Zhuo's desk were numerous books and booklets. They looked like a matching set, but Fubao squinted at them for a long time without finding the slightest clue to their contents.

"I have no idea. They were sent over by Auntie's maid." Bai Zhuo picked one up, intending to flip through it.

"Bai Yugu?" Fubao asked in surprise.

Bai Zhuo suddenly caught sight of something inside, and his face flared red as a ripe tomato in an instant.

Fubao: "???"

"Eldest cousin, what's wrong with you?" Seeing Bai Zhuo's face turn crimson at a speed visible to the naked eye, Fubao asked in puzzlement, reaching out to flip open a book that happened to be closest to her.

*Swish!* The book vanished from her hand.

Fubao: "???"

Bai Zhuo snatched the book back, slapped it down hard on the table, and shoved Fubao right out of the room. As he pushed her, he muttered, "Fubao, you should go find your little cousin instead. He must be in the back garden by now." With a loud *bang*, he slammed the door shut.

Fubao stood outside, her mind in a complete fog: *What just happened?*

Inside the room, Bai Zhuo stared at the booklet in his hands, feeling both embarrassed and exasperated. What kind of wretched books had this Bai Yugu sent him? It had been so long since he last dealt with her antics that he had actually forgotten her true nature.

Looking at the illustrated adult novel in his hands, Bai Zhuo felt a throbbing pain in his head. Should he burn these things, or should he burn them?

***

Having been driven out by Bai Zhuo, Fubao puckered her lips in mild dissatisfaction. After a moment of thought, she decided to head to the back garden to find Bai Jie and check in on her little darlings along the way.

At that moment, Duck-duck was straddling its long legs, stretching its long neck toward the sky, eyes closed as it soaked in the baptism of the summer sun.

Nearby, by the edge of the pond, Big-headed Fish was floating with its large white belly pointed upward, splashing around lazily in the water.

Fubao: "..." *What kind of bizarre combination is this?*

The attending little maid nearby was nodding off to sleep, her head bobbing up and down. Every now and then, she would lift her chin to check on the two "grand lords," and seeing that they hadn't vanished, she would resume her nap.

Fubao thought: *Their life is even better than mine!*

Fubao chose not to wake the maid from her nap. Knowing Duck-duck's temperament, Fubao figured the poor girl must have been tormented to her limits, given that she likely had to scrub and clean up after them at least three times a day.

"Fatty!" Fubao reached out, scooped the belly-up Big-headed Fish right out of the water, and gave it a squeeze.

Big-headed Fish: "???"

"Stop flailing, it's me!" As the fish thrashed furiously, it slapped Fubao twice with its tail, splashing water all over her face. Fubao gave it another hard pinch and spoke.

"Ugh, little ancestor? Oh my, you scared the life out of me!" Big-headed Fish gasped with its mouth wide open.

"Not bad at all. I haven't seen you in a few days, and you've grown a whole circle fatter," Fubao noticed that Big-headed Fish's physique had become even rounder, its little white belly bulging prominently.

"Hee-hee, this little maid is so honest. Every day she scatters a huge amount of fish food for us little fish, and the flavors are even different every time, hee-hee," Big-headed Fish said, pointing its tail toward the little maid who was fast asleep under a nearby small tree.

"Hmph, eat a little less. You're so fat you could go straight into the cooking pot," Fubao tossed Big-headed Fish back into the water and poked it on the head.

"Wait a minute... did you rob the other fish of their share of the food?" Fubao watched as a school of fish swam past, the corners of her mouth twitching incessantly.

"How could that be? We all eat the exact same amount every day," Big-headed Fish replied, shaking its chubby head.

As soon as Big-headed Fish finished speaking, a line of skin-and-bones fish nearby shook their heads in unison, their tails whipping back and forth so fast they looked like a blur, their eyes filled with grievance.

Fubao: "..." *Hah, you gluttonous fat fish.*

"Really not?" Fubao stretched and cracked her wrists.

"Of course not!" Big-headed Fish tilted its head up, looking utterly sincere.

"Heh," Fubao flashed a fake smile, swooped down to scoop Big-headed Fish right back out of the water, and pinched it again.

"Eh—grand ancestor?" Big-headed Fish blinked its round eyes in utter astonishment.

Fubao: "..."

Not far away, Duck-duck cast a haughty, disdainful glance in Fubao's direction, then closed its eyes again to resume gazing at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle.

***

Meanwhile, the little maid was still dozing off hazily. As her head bobbed down once more and lifted back up, she caught a glimpse of Fubao standing by the edge of the pond.

She was struck with immediate panic and horror. Had she actually fallen asleep while on duty?

"Waaah!"

Just as Fubao was pinching Big-headed Fish and lecturing it about the importance of sharing, unity, love, and mutual aid, a small figure rushed over from beneath her feet like a gust of wind, clutched her legs, and burst into tears.

Fubao: "..."

"Have mercy, eldest young miss! This maid didn't mean to fall asleep, this maid doesn't even know how she dozed off, waaah!" A wail of deep despair echoed through the air.

Fubao thought: *Is this little girl made of water tanks?*

In the end, Fubao assigned the little maid a single task: to find a fishing rod.

Thus, the little maid watched with her own eyes as the gentle and kind-hearted eldest young miss she so admired brutally strung up the fattest, greediest, and fastest-eating big-headed fish in the pond onto a fishing hook. She hung it just ten centimeters above the water's surface, head pointing straight down and tail pointing up.

The little maid thought: *How utterly ruthless.*

"Keep an eye on it. Leave it hanging there, and every now and then dip it into the water to give it a rinse so it doesn't die. It eats so much, it's about time it burned off some of that food. Let it down tonight," Fubao instructed the maid before taking her leave.

The little maid stared at the hanging Big-headed Fish, then pulled over a small stool and began her periodic fish-rinsing routine.

Big-headed Fish wept internally: *Save me, the grand ancestor is far too cruel!*

***

Meanwhile, within General Xie's residence, Xie Linghan did her best to ignore the burning gaze fixed upon her from the side and released the arrow in her hand.

"A bullseye! Oh-oh, simply amazing! Xie elder sister—no, eldest sister-in-law, you are too amazing!" Bai Jie had run over to the Xie residence early on to pester Xie Linghan, having instantly transformed into a devoted little fanboy.

"Tell me, little brother, why don't you stay properly at home instead of running around causing a fuss?" Xie Linghan tossed the bow and arrow back into the hands of a nearby servant and spoke to Bai Jie with a helpless expression.

"Eldest sister-in-law, teach me martial arts!" Bai Jie stroked the small bow in the servant's arms, turned back around, and stared at Xie Linghan with sparkling, excited eyes.

"Huh? Don't you already have a master?" Xie Linghan arched a delicate brow and asked.

"Who says I do? I don't!" Bai Jie replied with absolute conviction.

Gu Yun, lurking elsewhere, thought: *Who the hell am I to you?!*

Xie Linghan: "???" *Could it be that I got my information wrong?*