Chapter Thirty-One: Shelter

Xu Ruojin rose before dawn the next morning.
After washing and breakfast, she reviewed what she had learned and practiced, albeit only briefly.
Today she was to meet the teaching matron; when discussing her previous studies, she needed at least to be able to answer a few questions.
Spring Grass, too, was quite nervous. As Xu Ruojin pored over her books, Spring Grass opened the book chest and organized its contents several times, counting each item for fear of leaving something behind.
When the teaching matron entered, a young maid hurried over to announce her arrival.
Xu Ruojin immediately straightened her attire and went to the door to greet her. In the distance, she saw Lady Yang smiling warmly, accompanying a matron toward her.
"Madam Fang, this is my precious daughter, Ruojin," Lady Yang introduced with a smile. "Ruojin, aren't you going to greet her?"
"Greetings, Madam Fang. Greetings, Mother."
Xu Ruojin curtsied lightly, then stood respectfully to the side.
Madam Fang's hair was already white, and she was advanced in age, but her gentle composure and dignified bearing inspired immediate goodwill.
"Madam Xu, rest assured. Lady Liang has spoken, and I will do my utmost to teach Miss Ruojin well. You may return now."
Madam Fang had already spoken to dismiss her. Lady Yang had intended to linger and offer a few more words, but found herself unable to speak.
"If this girl misbehaves, please let me know. I will certainly discipline her, just don't be angry," Lady Yang said.
Madam Fang remained smiling, waiting for her to leave, showing no other expression.
Xu Ruojin couldn't help but smile inwardly, watching Lady Yang, full of flattery and ingratiating words, unable to utter a single one—her awkwardness was truly amusing.
After fussing over Xu Ruojin a bit more, Lady Yang had no choice but to find her own exit and leave.
Before departing, Lady Yang instructed her maid, Willow Emerald, to stay and attend to Xu Ruojin, clearly intending to keep an eye on her.
Xu Ruojin invited Madam Fang inside, and was about to present her previous written works and studies.
Madam Fang shook her head and signaled her to put them aside. "Today, let's just sit and chat."
Xu Ruojin was taken aback, then personally poured tea and listened attentively, seated on a small stool.
"...A woman's life is truly difficult,"
Madam Fang sipped her tea slowly, her opening words illuminating Xu Ruojin's eyes.
She did not mention the virtues of obedience or the rules women must follow; she spoke like a candid elderly woman, nothing like the strict teaching matron Xu Ruojin had imagined.

The matron's elegant and dignified manner deepened Xu Ruojin's anticipation—this was the first kindly woman she had met since opening her eyes...
"From birth, confined within the boudoir, not allowed out the main or second gate. After seven years, one must learn weaving, embroidery, painting, literacy, arithmetic. Before coming of age, lessons in female conduct and precepts, virtue, speech, appearance, and skills. Upon marriage, morning and evening duties to the mother-in-law, and soon after..."
"She must oversee the maids and servants, manage the household accounts, and if her husband's family holds office, she must assist him in social affairs—giving gifts, currying favor, receiving gifts, and exchanging pleasantries, all requiring discernment. Otherwise, she risks gaining a reputation for lacking virtue."
"She labors alongside her husband, teaches the children; if she succeeds, she is a virtuous wife and mother, if not, she is blamed for indulgence and misfortune. A lifetime of toil, hoping only for filial respect as a grandmother and a few days of comfort—by then, her face is wrinkled, and she must start worrying about saving for her coffin."
Madam Fang chuckled self-deprecatingly, "So, living cheerfully each day is a blessing. Once I understood this, I never lost my temper again."
Xu Ruojin had not expected Madam Fang to lay bare the hardships of a woman's life so thoroughly.
She had imagined lessons in how a woman's lack of talent is virtue, or how she must obey a man's every command.
Full of surprise and curiosity, Xu Ruojin gazed at Madam Fang, whose smile grew warmer:
"In truth, men have expectations of women, but women also expect much from men. One manages the outside, the other the inside. In families where harmony is lacking, men seldom achieve much—however prosperous, decline always comes."
"What I wish to teach you is how to live joyfully and wholeheartedly. Those who spend their days scheming and plotting are not worth mentioning. If your heart is not upright, however clever you are, you will stray and eventually be caught out."
Madam Fang took Xu Ruojin's hand, "How much you learn depends on yourself!"
Xu Ruojin immediately rose and gave Madam Fang a deep bow, "Please teach me, Madam Fang!"
"Since I've agreed to instruct you, I must produce results. I disdain half-hearted work. Rise, today we will not study anything else; let us tell stories."
Madam Fang's smile revealed shrewd insight, and Xu Ruojin composed herself to listen intently.
Two hours passed quickly.
Both forgot the time.
Willow Emerald wondered if it was time for a meal, but seeing Spring Grass unresponsive, she asked, "How long will Madam Fang teach?"
Spring Grass shook her head, "I don't know."
"It's already mealtime. Should we fetch the food, or will Old Madam Chen deliver it?"
Spring Grass shook her head again, "I don't know."
"How is it you know nothing?"
Willow Emerald lost interest in conversation, and Spring Grass bit her lip and replied, "I asked yesterday, but Old Madam Chen sent me back, saying everything must follow Lady's instructions."
Willow Emerald frowned slightly, "Then go ask again?"

"Me?" Spring Grass pointed to her nose, not answering but asking, "Willow Emerald, are you going to stay here to serve Second Miss?"
Willow Emerald was caught off guard, blushing, "I don't know."
Yesterday, the master had glanced at her several times, and today the lady had assigned her to attend Second Miss...
"I'll go then." Spring Grass stood up, took a few steps, then turned back, "Actually, it's better to serve Second Miss. You just need to focus on your work, without worrying or being afraid. Think it over yourself."
Spring Grass left, and Willow Emerald sat on the stone steps in a daze for a long while.
What was she truly seeking in this life?
When Madam Fang tired, she ended the lesson. After a simple meal with Xu Ruojin, she departed for the Liang residence, saying she would return the next day.
Willow Emerald saw Madam Fang off and returned to the main courtyard to report to Lady Yang.
Xu Ruojin was filled with joy, even chewing a plain cucumber brought her laughter.
Master Wang taught about humanities, geography, and history, but Madam Fang spoke of life itself, of people and events, touching Xu Ruojin to her core.
That deep, bone-level satisfaction allowed her to cast aside all the hardship and despair of her past, as if Madam Fang's words were a spell, quietly dispelling her anxieties and resentment, and helping her accept her identity.
She was Xu Ruojin, and she would live her life well...
Whether or not it was because of that cold-faced man that Madam Fang came to teach her, she would remember his favor.
After a brief afternoon rest, Xu Ruojin resumed her calligraphy practice.
Tomorrow she would need to present all she had learned to Madam Fang, so since she was to write, she might as well practice diligently.
It was doubly beneficial.
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the courtyard—Xu Ruojin heard Spring Grass speaking with someone, then crying mixed in.
Putting down her brush, Xu Ruojin hurried to the door, fearing Spring Grass had been bullied.
But on closer look, it was Willow Emerald.
Willow Emerald's hair was disheveled, her face swollen from slaps, clutching a bundle in her arms, sobbing as she knelt before Xu Ruojin, "Second Miss, I beg you to keep me, or else I have nowhere to go."