Chapter Twenty: Explanation

Xu Ruojin looked at the man before her, his face stern and impassive, and found it impossible to connect him with the “father” she held in her heart.

She knew her father had left Zhonglin County for the capital, but in her imagination, she had often wondered what sort of man he truly was.

Madam Yang had never taken kindly to her, for she was not her own child.

Yet a father was still a father—blood, at least, bound them. But from the moment she first saw him until now, Xu Ruojin had never sensed the faintest trace of familial warmth.

It seemed the bond between father and daughter was far weaker than that which she shared with her third brother, Xu Zimo.

Recalling her predecessor’s memories of their father, she found nothing but resentment; there were no fragments worth cherishing.

Xu Ruojin sighed helplessly. Best not to hope for more—if her father had ever shouldered his responsibilities, would her own life have been so miserable?

Spring Grass poured a cup of tea and set it on the table, slipping away silently and leaving only father and daughter in the room.

Xu Yaohui put down the sheet of calligraphy his daughter had written and regarded the girl before him. Though she could now walk and speak, her face still bore the pallor and frailty of illness.

When his daughter fell into the lake, Xu Yaohui had thought she’d drowned. Only after news arrived that she’d awakened did he feel relief enough to leave for the capital to consult Master Yan on how to handle the matter.

He’d never truly paid her much attention before, but now as he looked her over, he saw illness and thinness, her small face drained of color, though her eyes shone with shrewd intelligence.

Glancing around the room’s meager furnishings, there was nothing more to say: just one word—shabby.

No wonder the young master of the Zhang family looked down on her. If she wasn’t cherished in her own home, how could she expect warmth from strangers?

“To recover as you have is a stroke of fortune,” Xu Yaohui said flatly. “You must continue to rest and regain your health. Your wedding is approaching—if there’s anything you need, speak to your mother and I’ll see to it. We’ll prepare your dowry.”

His voice was calm and even. “Instructor Wang is a talented scholar. That he’s willing to teach you is a blessing. You’re an intelligent child—just a few days of study and you’ve come this far. That’s commendable. Continue to work hard.”

“I understand, Father. I won’t let you down,” Xu Ruojin replied crisply, her voice clear and pleasant, causing Xu Yaohui to look at her a moment longer.

“Don’t hold any grudges,” he said. “When you fell into the water, the whole household was thrown into chaos. It’s natural for tongues to clash in turbulent times. Ultimately, I am to blame for not thinking things through. If I’d arranged for your instruction sooner and taught you the ways of a proper household, none of this would have happened.”

“Father, I’ve never borne any resentment. You worry too much,” Xu Ruojin replied, her tone calm but laced with subtle discontent. “A daughter’s marriage is the will of her parents and the matchmaker’s word. Whomever I marry is your decision. I am merely dull-witted—after days of lessons I understand only basic accounts and the simplest precepts for women. Once married, whether I can still be of use to you and my brothers is left to fate.”

Xu Yaohui’s gaze darkened as he studied her, but seeing her eyes clear and unflinching as they met his, a faint sense of guilt stirred in his heart. He tried to reassure her, “You say you hold no grudge, yet what is the meaning of your words just now? Marrying you into the Zhang family is for your own good. Do not think I only seek to build my own connections; you’d be underestimating me.”

He took a sip of tea, but found it so bitter he could hardly swallow, and set the cup aside.

“It was my mistake. I shouldn’t have misunderstood your intentions,” Xu Ruojin bowed her head. This man was no doting father; for him to speak thus was already the limit. If she pressed her grievances further, she would only alienate him as well.

Xu Yaohui was satisfied with her attitude and nodded, about to speak again, when Madam Yang’s voice came from outside.

“How dearly you dote on your daughter, Master! The moment you entered the house, you came straight here. It seems this mother of hers is the neglectful one and must beg your forgiveness!”

Out of the corner of her eye, Xu Ruojin saw her father’s brows crease and then relax. Both turned to the door as Madam Yang strode in, her face set in a stern expression.

“Daughter greets Mother,” Xu Ruojin said with a smile. “How could Mother neglect me? Father was just praising your kindness. Now you’ve hurried here—come, sit and rest. My courtyard has never been so lively before.”

She looked to Spring Grass. “Quickly, bring tea for Mother.”

“Tea at this hour?” Madam Yang scoffed. “You’d rather I didn’t sleep at all?”

Xu Yaohui gave a light cough and Madam Yang fell silent.

The atmosphere grew even colder. Xu Ruojin stood aside, saying nothing, while Madam Yang glowered at Xu Yaohui.

Sensing the tension, Xu Yaohui rose, intent on leaving. “It’s late. I’m tired. Tomorrow evening, Ruojin, come to the main hall for dinner. We’ll discuss things further then.”

“Thank you, Father. Take care,” Xu Ruojin replied, seeing him out with courtesy. Madam Yang’s jaw was clenched so tightly she nearly ground her teeth, but even she knew when to hold her tongue; she had intended to refuse the invitation for the next day, but seeing her husband’s dark expression, she dared not protest.

Xu Yaohui returned to his quarters with Madam Yang in tow, shutting the door and sending even Nanny Huang away before rebuking her sharply, “Nonsense! Utter foolishness!”

His scolding stifled all of Madam Yang’s grievances, but she retorted, “What do you mean by that, Master? You went to the capital, leaving all the household affairs to me. I’m just a woman—how much can I do? What have I done that’s so wrong?”

“What sort of shabby courtyard is that? And what kind of cloth are Ruojin’s clothes made of?” Xu Yaohui’s fury was a far cry from his earlier indifference. “I was kept waiting the entire day by Master Yan in the capital, and even he had heard that Ruojin was treated worse than a servant in her own home. How am I supposed to face the Zhang family about this marriage? I thought once the match was settled, you’d see to it that Ruojin’s needs were met, inside and out. But you only worry about pinching pennies, dressing her decently only when she goes out, and letting her live in such squalor. How can I face anyone? Tell me!”

“Her attire for visits is the best we have…”

“Nonsense! How many eyes and mouths are there in the Xu household? Do you think outsiders are fools, blind to your duplicity?”

His icy tone silenced Madam Yang. “Then what would you have me do? Must I treat her like some pampered young mistress? She’s never lacked for food or drink. Now that she has you to rely on, must I live worse than a stray girl?”

“Enough!” Xu Yaohui pointed at her, voice cold and threatening. “If anyone dares call her a stray again, I’ll tear out their tongue!”

Madam Yang dared not utter another word. After a moment, Xu Yaohui continued, “See that her courtyard is cleaned, her clothes and jewelry replenished. She needn’t live lavishly, but she must at least look like a proper young lady of a respectable family. Once Ruojin’s marriage is settled, we’ll have fulfilled our obligation to Master Yan.”

“But what if, even after all is in order, the Zhang family still finds fault? That girl was rescued by Young Master Liang—how could there not have been physical contact? If…”

“Why panic? Some matters are not for the Zhangs to decide.”

Xu Yaohui’s words made Madam Yang frown, not quite understanding, but she dared not press further.

That night, Xu Ruojin found herself unable to sleep, troubled by all that had transpired—especially after seeing her father, which dashed any lingering hopes she’d harbored.

Thinking of the sachet of incense Lady Bi had given her, a spark of curiosity rose in her heart. In her past life, she had studied pharmacology—could this incense perhaps offer her another path?

If she could truly unravel its secrets, she need not depend entirely on the Xu family after all…